Shiiiiiiit...I hate this situation... today I look the hallmark chanell, I wach a romantic film, I see a simple nice and beautifull wedding, shitt why I should think about him, and I have a fantasy walk on the altar, with my father, and we say our promises together with love...arrrGGGH I feel such a dummy girl..silly I never ever can be together with him (and he say that to..umm our chanc to be together is too small) why I feel so pathetic... he obviously doesn't love me at all he just like me because he feel that "can live with me" not "cannot live without me".... I ever have a talk with him bout our relationship, and he said that "I'm comfort with you, but we have a lot of differences that make us coud'nt be together" but actually he just dont love me, umm I wish he came to my room suddenly if I cry and, struggle to keep our beautifull relation, no matter the distance is.... ummmh..but it cannot realize if in this relation just have one love (just from me) coz love is like a bird, that can't possible fly with one wings....hmmmph...
This dilemma make me wanna go to the physiciatric..